English Oh English

English oh English

 Originating from Malaysia, I have never thought twice about having issues speaking English. After all, it was a British colony and we all learn English almost at birth.

 But it was when I came to Canada that it became apparent that I actually have issues with English. I mean Canadians use idioms a lot for one. My girlfriend calls me a Silly Goose whenever I make a mistake doing something, in a joking way of course. But when I wanted to get back at her when she made a mistake, I called her a Stupid Swan instead of a Silly Goose. To me, it was a not so smart avian variety, and swans are beautiful.

 It took me two days to explain this to her.

 I also thought all Killer whales were called Free Willies until I was 12 years old (clearly because of the movie). But the funny part was that, I was the kid that spoke somewhat proper English in my neigbourhood and taught English to the other kids. Now, all the kids that I grew up with call it Free Willy. And when I met a few of them the last time I was home, I corrected them on it. To which, their response was to ask me to tone down my “Whiteness” since there was nothing wrong with calling that poor mammal a Free Willy.

 Patio is another word that I had issues when I came to Canada first. See, in Malaysia, we do not call it a Patio, but a deck. The only word that I have seen that resembles to Patio is Ratio, and we pronounce it as Ray-She-O. So, in my first three months in Canada, I was calling Patio, Pay-She-O.

 But the biggest surprise came to me when I arrived in Canada and was driven to the seniors' home called Lion's Manor. I didn't understand. Why would I be pit in an Old Folks home (as we call it back home) when I am a student? But the miscommunication was when the University of Winnipeg sent me options for housing; they included the seniors' Home called Lion's Manor. But, I thought it was a residence for student seniors and I will be a first year to join them to have nonstop 24 hour parties.

 So much for my expectations. There were parties alright, with Milk and Cookies.

  Funny thing is that, I met most ladies in my life while my three years there in Lions Manor. I had many advices from the senior men on how to ask a girl out.

 English is a very funny language and trying to compare it to my Mother Tongue (Tamil) is like comparing apples and oranges. One can never go wrong in speaking Tamil. The language is so solidified over 5000 years, and the amount of rules that goes with it makes it impossible to make a mistake in spelling, grammar and vocabulary.

 Whatever said and done, without English, traveling this far from where I was born would have been just impossible. One way or another, English somehow saves the day.